Female Masculinity

Copyright (c) 2013 Morgan D

Gender is an outward expression of what the society considers masculine or feminine. It is demonstrated by our modes of talk, dress, or manner styles that define the difference between the two. Its meaning varies from one society to another depending on the values, customs and beliefs held by the particular society. This paper examines the role played by the society through its basic institutions to bring distinction between femininity and masculinity. More emphasis is laid on the impact of culture on femininity together with its effect on all aspects of growth and development.

The issue of masculinity brings out notions of power, privilege and legitimacy. It symbolizes the power of state and unequal distribution of property. It represents the inheritance and social privileges across gender and sexuality. Culture and society tend to ignore and discourage female masculinity and yet is highly attentive on male femininity. "Issues of gender inequality are perpetuated by the patriarchal nature of our society that permits male domination and female subordination" (Kambarami, 2006). This has largely been influenced throughout the process of socialization.

Researchers, community organizers and law enforcers who concern themselves with anti-LGB (-lesbian, -gay and -bisexual) prejudice and discrimination tend to conflate those aspects that target sexual orientation with other issues of gender non nonconformity (Gordon, 2007). Gender nonconformity is defined as "An outward appearance or gender expression that does not conform to the traditional laws of gender" (Gordon, 2007).

It is attributed with experiences of sexual minority and behaviors that deviate from the expected gender roles. The gender nonconformity incidences were discovered to occur in the societal set up and were mostly perpetrated in the family, in schools, religious settings like a church and in the corporate world like in a public retail setting (Gordon, 2007). This gives evidence of the roles played by the society through its basic institutions on the issues of gender and sexuality.

There are various contexts in which the society shapes women to femininity. It sets boundaries for women that are morally acceptable according to cultural norms and customs. There is the interplay between femininity, sexuality and culture (Kambarami, 2006). Culture impacts feminine sexuality negatively by imprisoning women to subordination of patriarchy which consequently renders them powerless to control their sexuality. Feminists define patriarchy as "A social system in which men tend to over rule all the social responsibilities as women remain in subordination" (Kambarami, 2006).

An example of a social setting where feminism is highly displayed and culturally manipulated is in the family. The socialization process differentiates the boy and girl child at a very tender age. The boys are oriented to view themselves as the family heads and breadwinners whereas the girls are trained to be obedient and submissive housekeepers (Kambarami, 2006). This consequently displays women as sexual beings and not human beings, where they are being defined in relation to men therefore, dependent to them always. The society instills in women qualities such as gentleness, passivity and submission in order to please men (Kambarami, 2006).

In our culture for example when a girl attains the puberty age, she receives endless teachings on how to please and maintain her future husband by being a submissive wife. She is further exposed to issues of her sexuality and how best to utilize it for male's benefit. The teachings encourage dependency where a woman ultimately cannot support themselves in absence of the husband. They observe a male figure with great awe for provision and cannot survive alone in the case of the husband's death but have to remarry.

The society values the male child more than the female. The foundation of this is in the family where a boy child rules a girl child by the right of birth. He may not be the first born in the family but he is bestowed headship in the household. Prejudice rises against the girl child because it is expected that she eventually marries out and becomes apart of another family (Kambarami, 2006). An idealistic example in the socialization process is exhibited where parents purchase toys for their children. "A girl is given dolls and kitchen utensils to play with whereas the boy is given cars, puzzle games and the toys which refine their physical energy and cognitive abilities" (Kambarami, 2006).

The girl child at puberty is also regularly warned against interacting and 'joking' with boys. This makes the girls treat their counterparts with fearful respect and anxiety. Though it indirectly or indeliberatly happens, the girl child is oriented to the weakly attributes of being soft and emotional which translates to femininity. It further perplexes her as she matures since the biological bells are beckoning her to indulge in mutual relationships, but rather she feels guilty due to the socially sowed attitudes and norms. She fears consulting and secretly gets into the wrong relationships. Thereafter she conceives mistakably and forces abortion, much more the society does not spare her, as she is rendered immoral.

The society expresses leniency on male sexual behavior but it is greatly strict when addressing sexual conduct in females. The males are given freedom to experiment sexually before marriage whereas the females are expected to preserve their virginity as way of making the marriage pure. After marriage, a husband can have extra-marital affairs where sarcastically the blame is put on the wife for failing to satisfy him. When the wives complain, the older women advise them to put up with the infidelity as the society is already used to it. However, it is not permissive in the same society for the wife to have extra marital affairs as she is labeled as 'loose' and is sent back to the parents for some discipline (Kambarami, 2000).

It is expected that women are supposed to be sexually passive and submissive to men's desires. A woman is not to initiate sex but should wait a man to express desire and set the conditions for the encounter. There are various mystical beliefs in the society on female sexuality which portrays it as very distinct from men's. It is supposed that men have higher sex drives and are easily aroused which they find hard to control. It also believed that men extract the highest enjoyment in sex therefore are more sexually possessive and are permitted to engage extramarital sex. Such beliefs portray women as colder and more virtuous as long as sex is concerned.They are rendered to possess less sexual desires than their male counterparts, that they do not extract pleasure from sex therefore should have less of it.

. All these are nothing but illusions that pervade our culture.

The biggest difference between male and female sexuality today is a consequence of power and motivation, where men initiate as women submit. This is also evident in our language and choice of words in sex conversations. Many people use heavy terms like 'men screw' and women on the other hand get 'screwed'. The active verbal forms are attributed with men. This distinction between the assertive males and the passive females suggests that there is no sexual inhibition as long as men are concerned. Men seek sexual encounters which make them further obsessed and have to do it regardless of whether it implies crossing the cultural boundaries. Similarly, according to the image of female sexual passivity, "femininity infers resistance to sexuality" (Jackson, 2005). In reality women experience sexual pleasure equally as men and are aroused similarly as often. However, women's desire is often curtailed to passivity as initiated by the societal norms and beliefs.

Further in the realm of sexuality, gender inequality also affects the issue of giving and receiving pleasure. Recall that women are supposed to be submissive and depend on man for provision including sex. It is therefore evident men perceive women as sexual bodies which does not retaliate in women's perception about men. Basing our argument still on femininity we find out that men fantasize more in doing and women in receiving. This deeply infers that women utilize love and sexuality as resources to exercise control over their femininity. They tap opportunity by "conceiving men as instruments to release their female potential in sexuality" (Jackson, 2005). It enables women counteract their passivity and subordination ideals through manipulating intimacy to men.

Women practice sexual resistance which makes them control their sexuality and achieve the goal of countering male's social power (Jackson, 2005). One of the weapons women use to defend themselves in sexual resistance is virtue. They do not want to appear 'loose' before men as the society dictates. This is through culture and experience where the loss of a woman's virtues is measured according to her permissiveness in sex. The risk of pregnancy too motivates women to deny sex. The fears of conception before marriage are mostly related to social influences which is counter to cultural norms.

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