Something old, something new, something borrow...

A wedding saying..........

Something old, something new, something borrow... Article by: Udo Vieth

Something borrowed, something blue is probably what popped into your head as you read the above.

This is how your mind works!

We store complete pictures or phrases in our memory. Calling up one part thereof, brings the whole item back into our consciousness.

Discover how this impacts on our relationships and can lead to a breakthrough technique for achieving relationship happiness.

Let me explain:

First you need to understand that you are who you are and do what you do because of the mental pictures in the front of your mind right now. Just remember, that we all do the best we know how at any point in time. That knowingness, is created directly from the most dominant picture in your mind at that time.

Here's an example.

Think of when you and your partner met, there was that special feeling, maybe butterflies in your stomach, maybe a sense of security, maybe.. you know, whatever it was for you at the time, you equated that feeling with a picture of togetherness with your partner. Then everytime you thought of your partner, those feelings come back and you feel good.

Now progress 5 years down the road from now. You see a beer can standing next to the sofa, and a picture of a lazy smelling coachpotatoe flashes into your mind. This picture does not make you feel good anymore! All of a sudden the question "What happened to us" comes to mind.

What happened is that the original picture that made you feel good and hence act in a loving caring way, is now buried under a pile of other pictures built up over time, until you got to the picture you now have, with its associated feeling

BUT...

The same story is true for your partner. That original picture is also buried somewhere deep down.The problem is that as we replace a good picture with a not so great picture, this then changes our feelings about the situation. More importantly though, it modifies our behaviour to the given situation. Now we act differently to when we did when we had the original picture in our mind.

We have changed! Well at least our behaviour has. So both parties behaviour adapts to newer and more current pictures.

Thats what we call life.

Couldn't you hold on to the original picture that made you feel good? Some partnerships seem to flourish and maintain that great intimacy. Could it be that it is because they are retaining that original picture?

I somehow doubt it

Life happens to everyone. The real secret of the long term happy relationship is that its' participants consciously choose the next picture. What it will look like, and what feelings it will illicit. So they retain a sense of feeling good about each other and their actions reflect this. This becomes a continuous cycle, maintaining the relationship. It is a conscious decision. Not difficult, merely conscious.

Once you become aware of your aims, it is much easier to move in the right direction by doing the right things, or merely avoiding the wrong things. So taking responsibilty for your own actions is the first step.

So ask yousrelf,would you like that great feeling to remain in your relationships?

Well you can.

You need to know how to achieve it, by using simple and effective tools, that are available to anyone keen enough and determined to use them. There are a plethora of courses and workshops out there,thatcan point you in the right direction.

So make the decision, and as they say "Just do it"

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