Counselor - Different Ways to Break Away From Controlling and Manipulative Marital Relationships
Controlling dating and marriage relationships happen to be much more common than a lot of people realize, and despite the fact that they are viewed as undesirable and bad, the people that go for them do so for somewhat logical, albeit bad reasons.
Like actors in a play, generally in most controlling dating and marriage relationships there are 2 roles being played out, the controller and the controlled.
A good counselor will inform you that anybody who decides to get married to or date the controlling person is doing so due to one or a combination of the following factors.
1. Being controlled is what they've been accustomed to, what they grew up with, so even though it's not pleasurable, it is remarkably comfortable.
2. They are attempting to overhaul the controlling mate. Often this is carried out unconsciously as a method of attempting to fix the unhealthy relationship they had with their primary care giver or parents.
3. Being in a relationship that has a controlling individual tends to make them look good, because when they evaluate their own behaviour against the controller's, they appear to be doing a pretty good job of managing their life, despite the fact that they're probably not.
4. To be with a controller appears to make life simpler at moments because they don't have to make very many decisions, because that's exactly what the controller does. This gives them somebody to blame when things don't turn out best because they didn't make the choice.
In case you're trying to escape from a controlling dating or marriage relationship, here's a few things to take into account.
In case you are trying to transform a controlling person...make sure you stop. There is no kind of action better at producing madness in a person than wanting to control something you've got no control over. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, and if we will use our time working on our own hang ups and weak points, we will acquire improved feelings of control over our lives.
Don't hide behind a controlling person's bad conduct to make yourself seem good, to hide your shortage of personal motivation and dedication to progress. Find a reason for living that brings joy to you and other people. Do a bit of research into your reason for living and learn why you're on this spinning planet.
Invest the time and energy needed to discover ways to make one's own decisions. Being with a controller could be good because they're happy to make all the decisions. That lets you off the hook, but you are never able to obtain the good habit of making decisions. Just like any new talent, learning to make good decisions, is a skill that becomes better with practice.
About the Author
Chris Keenan is the creator of inexpensive - risk free relationship help at http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com and is a consistent guest on radio. Aquire your no cost copy of "How to Stop Your Relationship From Losing Value" at http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com
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