Are You a Self-Saboteur?

A Questionnaire

by Suzanne Falter-Barns

Take this questionnaire to get clear on what you may be doing to undermine your own success and happiness in life. An explanation of your score awaits at the end.

1. When someone offers help you usually

a) answer no without even thinking
b) consider for a moment, but then decide their help would be inadequate
c) consider for a moment, but then decide it would be asking for too much
d) happily accept

2. Your level of organization is

a) catastrophic -- you can't even find your toothbrush at night
b) okay, except that when it comes to your dream you tend to keep everything on tiny slips of paper that get lost
c) not bad ... you organize everything. It's just that you never act on it
d) fine -- you keep a running file or list of what you need to do on your dream projects every day

3. If someone gives you a key contact, you

a) tuck it away in a pocket with no intention of using it anytime soon
b) stick it in a safe place in your organizer or wallet, then lose it
c) put it on your desk where it sits untouched for the next four months
d) get in touch with that person within a few days

4. When opportunity knocks

a) you get a strange feeling in your gut and do nothing
b) you always manage to get sick
c) you seize the opportunity, but not until after several hours
hair-tearing while you try to find necessary materials, the correct directions, a parking place, an open Fed Ex office, etc.
d) you open the door and let it in

5. The idea of being prepared, i.e. keeping an extra clean suit handy, having a beeper, always keeping extra promotion materials on hand, seems

a) downright silly
b) like a good idea, but one you probably wouldn't do
c) smart, and you may even do one or two of these things
d) critical -- you even keep extra panty hose on hand, and business cards in your gym bag

6. The idea that someday you will be successful enough to call your own shots seems

a) unlikely
b) scary, but possible
c) likely ... if you could just get your act together somehow
d) fated

7. When an important project begins to reach some kind of climax, as it nears its conclusion, you

a) withdrawal and let others finish it
b) begin to get pretty bloody sick of the whole thing, and start to complain loudly
c) start looking for the next thing to work on
d) hang in there for completion, taking care of the details, knowing the next thing will come along soon


If most of your answers were

a: You are committed to hanging out, which is fine, unless you've got that nagging feeling you should be doing something more. If so, you probably need a therapist, or a life coach at the very least (see Chapter X, "What is a Coach and Why Do I Need One?") when you're ready to get serious.

b: Your fear is definitely getting in the way of what you want to do in life. You need to get an arsenal of support including a support group, a coach, and plenty of meditation time.

c: You're grappling with the usual fear and doubts, but the problem is you're listening to them, even though you know the deal. Set up a regular support group and find a support buddy or coach who will bug you to get your work done every day.

d: You're doing the job the way it should be done. The only possible problem is burn-out, so be sure to schedule in the rest you need, and stimulating stuff to keep you perking along. A coach would be a wise investment towards seeing how far you could go.

For more practical information on how to find the energy, money and mental space to live your dreams, check out Suzanne Falter-Barns' e-book, "Living Your Joy* How to Find the Time, the Money and the Energy to Live Your Dream (And Still Pay the Bills!)" available at

Suzanne's free ezine, The Joy Letter, brings you a crisp, fresh burst of inspiration for your dream every week or two. Sign up at and receive her valuable report, "Thirty-Five Guaranteed Time Savers". It helps you create time to finally live your dreams.

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About the Author

Suzanne Falter-Barns is the author of How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine.) She also publishes The Joy Letter, an inspirational ezine that gives you a fun, friendly nudge towards your dream every two weeks. Her website,, has won countless awards for its work moving others to push past their fears and create their dreams.

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