Small Business Leadership: Phases of Frustration

In small business and in life, I have found that we go through three phases of attitude. The first is excitement. The second is frustration, and the third is recommitment. During and after Hurricane Katrina, all of New Orleans sank deeply into the frustration phase, myself included. There are six sub-phases of frustration that everyone in my business and personal life were experiencing:

1. Shock

2. Denial

3. Fear

4. Anger

5. Justification

6. Acceptance

1. Shock is the first sub-phase of frustration. You are going to be shocked at the realization that it's possible you're going to be hit with another hurricane. Intellectually, you know good and well that the possibility exists, but when you see that icon again, you're still going to be shocked. It's amazing how many people live with the mentality of "that could never happen to me" even when it HAS happened to them before. It is easier to not focus on the adversity which is why you are shocked when the hurricane hits.Today's article will focus on the first three sub-phases, shock, denial and fear.

2. Denial comes next. You deny that the weatherman could possibly be correct. What are the chances we'll have another Betsy or another Katrina? This may sound humorous, but there are people who have lost everything and still believe that New Orleans and the surrounding areas will be spared in a future hurricane. I find that absolutely amazing. Never having another Category Five hurricane hitting New Orleans not only defies my logic, it defies all science.

3. Fear is the third sub-phase of frustration. You say, "My goodness, what if this weatherman is telling the truth? What if we really are going to stay in the funnel and get hit?" Fear is not something anyone likes to feel or even admit to feeling. If you are fearful, sometimes you revert back to "denial" in an effort to hide your fear.

4. Anger is the most important sub-phase. In Cajun terms, people get "pissed off." That's the point where they're going to have to make a critical decision. Contrary to popular thought, there are two kinds of anger: positive and negative.

Negative anger can overtake you if you submit to it. You say, "Man, we are done for. We're poor and we don't have a car, so we're going to wait it out." It is the thought and feelings of helplessness. You allow the negative energy to control your thoughts and actions.

Some take the attitude as if "Nobody's going to make me move out of my house." It is distorted, possessive, hardheaded and ill-conceived reasoning. Most of these people are just plain stubborn.

On the flip side of negative anger is positive anger. Positive anger is where I chose to hang out, and it's where all of the people who are coming back to New Orleans chose to hang out. It's where I'm asking you, the reader, to hang out when life is overwhelming and your frustration is overpowering.

Positive anger gives you the opportunity to bypass the other sub-phases of frustration. If you stay in negative anger, you're going to go straight into the fifth sub-phase.

5. Justification: You are looking for all the reasons why it's not your fault that all of this is happening.

You won't have a sense of ownership. Instead, you might have a sense of entitlement, thinking someone else should fix this and send a helicopter or a boat.

6. Acceptance: This is the final stage and when you accept that this is your fate, which makes you then stay in a stage of being stuck.

The good news is, that if you have positive anger, you can avoid looking for something to get excited about. You can avoid blaming it on others and you can take on an ownership spirit.

Don't play the victim. Don't play the blame game. Own it!

With an ownership spirit, you can recommit. This is the most important, and final phase of your attitude.

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