How To Forgive And Forget: You Can't Forget What You Don't Truly Forgive
Copyright (c) 2013 M.C.Orman, M.D., FLP
Wouldn't it be nice if we could just easily forgive and forget? Wouldn't it be great if we could truly "let go" of our past, and forgive and forget whatever may have been done to us by other people, or perhaps things we may have done ourselves that we now rgret?
Unfortunately, forgiving and forgetting are not all that easy to accomplish. Not if you are talking about true forgiveness, that is. Sure we can force ourselves to say the words "I forgive you" or "let's forget the past and move on," but often we do these things without truly forgiving in our hearts.
It's not just enough to want to forgive. It's also not enough just to say the words "I forgive you." In order to truly forgive, you have to learn how to truly "let go" of the past and put it behind you, both conceptually and emotionally.
And if you can't truly forgive someone in your heart for whatever they may have done to you, you can't truly forget the past and move on. To one degree or another, you'll remain stuck in the past and you'll continue to carry around lingering anger, pain, and blame until you do finally learn how to forgive.
The problem with learning how to forgive, however, is that most of the advice you'll receive about this subject won't help you all that much. This is because most spiritual and self-help advice aimed at helping people forgive doesn't go deep enough. It doesn't really teach people how to gain a better understanding of the root causes of their anger and resentment in the first place.
Without this type of deep, well-grounded understanding about what causes human emotions to occur in general, and what causes the emotion of anger in particular, you will likely continue to find it difficult to forgive and forget.
On the other hand, once you do understand the basic underlying causes of human anger, including the internal causes which occur entirely within us, you'll discover many new ways to truly forgive.
I've been teaching these principles of how to better understand the internal causes of human anger for more than 30 years now. And most people who learn them find that it's much less difficult to forgive. They also find that they create much less anger and resentment in their lives, so there is much less lingering anger and blame to have to forgive later on.
About the Author
Doc Orman, M.D. is a physician, author, stress coach, and founder of The Stress Mastery Academy. To find more of his advice on how to learn to forgive, as well as how to solve other lingering stress or anxiety problems, visit http://stressandanxietysolutions.com
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