Pre-Marriage Counseling Can Strengthen Marital Bonds and Lay The Foundation For A Happy Life
As the old adage goes, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure," and it's just as true today as it was when first coined. Of course, even a long courtship and engagement don't guarantee a good marriage, unless they include a course of couples counseling prior to the wedding. And in these days when there is a fifty percent divorce rate, some say marriage counseling should be mandatory prior to the wedding ceremony.
There is a fairly well-defined list of reasons for marriages to fail: money, sex, child rearing, belief systems and goals are among the top five. However, the underlying cause of all failing partnerships is a simple lack of communication. This is where a psychologist who specializes in couples counseling can be of the most help. In addition to providing a safe place to vent as couples are assured of privacy and confidentiality, a trained therapist can guide the conversation into a productive exchange of thoughts and feelings without fear of recrimination.
It's an unfortunate fact, but most people put more thought into buying a pair of shoes than they do in selecting a mate. The rush of endorphins brought on by falling in love often causes a smitten couple to forget the basics of a sound relationship. A registered family therapist can help them ask the right questions and find the best way to communicate honestly.
Some of the basic areas to investigate include a discussion of role expectations, especially when both partners are working outside the home. Questions of who does the cooking, handles the finances, takes care of various household chores and other areas of daily life are often left unanswered until it's too late and the couple finds themselves embroiled in an altercation as a result. This leads us to another important skill that can be learned from a therapist: conflict resolution. Arguments are inevitable and may even be healthy for a marriage, but there are guidelines to follow if a disagreement is to have a satisfactory conclusion. By learning both how to communicate effectively and how to resolve conflict, newlyweds can avoid many common stumbling blocks to achieving a solid marriage.
Other topics that will be covered by a trained psychologist are mutual goals, having and raising children, religion, problematic in-laws, and sex. Additionally, since every couple has a special dynamic, a pre-marital counselor will address any specific questions and problems and help a couple resolve them so that they can more realistically look forward to living "happily ever after."
About the Author
Author Stephen Daniels suggests that couples seeking pre-marriage counseling consult with Calgary psychologist Dr. Shannon St. Pierre at http://www.calgarypsychologists.com. Located in the Calgary AB area, she offers 22 years of experience in dealing with addictive behavior and relationship issues, and utilizes both traditional and alternative therapy methods to help people lead more fulfilling lives.
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