Marriage Therapy - Guiding You On How To Survive An Affair
Copyright (c) 2012 Paul Ruffilio
In counseling with married couples, they could actually assume that the counselor doesn't really understand the issues they are facing. One question I usually ask couples who presume their marital challenges are just too much is this: Are you the only couple going through this or the one couple to have ever gone through these?
Lot's of couples don't think it is possible to know how to survive an affair. It has always been a helpful practice to show them another couple that went through something similar and came out stronger.
There is no challenge that any couple is facing today that is new. Aside from a fresh counselor, most counselors would have come across any marriage issue you have to tell them over and again. Any effort made by a marriage counselor would be useless unless the main people involved in the matter are ready to do all that's required.
I've seen many cases where one of the couple virtually forces the other so they can go for marriage counseling. One person goes with high hopes whilst the other goes just for the sake of it. In many cases, the reluctant partner thinks they are wasting their time. You cannot hope to achieve anything in this type of scenario.
It is because of this reason that a lot of experienced marriage counselors try to break the seeming nonchalance of the uninterested spouse and reach into their core. This partner has to be involved in the process or else it would seriously be a waste of time.
We're not actually going to attempt to look at what causes affairs in marriages. No excuse or reason would ever be sufficient to okay an affair. I am aware that some situations could be so trying that it seems to push one into an affair. Saying this brings to mind a childless couple I knew a while back. After doing a number of tests, nothing was found to be the matter with either of them.
The lady for some reasons felt her husband was the issues despite the test. She kept at this for some time. At the height of it, the man felt he needed to prove himself so he got a lady outside of his marriage pregnant. I am happy to say that the marriage survived the affair and the wife who still has no kids of her own, put a stop to the insinuations.
As we try to discuss about how to survive an affair, I feel a need to more importantly discuss how not to have one. If you can avoid an extra marital affair in your marriage, you would not need to learn how to survive one.
If there's one thing that can aid marriages very much, it is communication. Once a couple can talk easily to themselves, any issue is half solved. Lack of communication means important things are not said until they pile up and become almost impossible to talk about without causing serious issues.
Every challenge and problem that you face would be easily handled when you and your spouse communicate really well.
About the Author
One way you can know how to survive an affair in your marriage (see http://www.marriagesherpa.com/surviving-infidelity-how-to-survive-an-affair ) is by signing up for marriage counseling here http://www.marriagesherpa.com/.
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