“The Wedding of Your Dreams… How do you find it?”
He proposed! Now your mind is racing with ideas and question about weddings. Where…when…who will I ask to be in it….who will help me….what is my budget…do I want to invite my father’s business pals, and how can I avoid it… and the MOST important question “What do WE want our marriage celebration to be like?”.
These age old questions have raced through the minds of brides for ages, and will continue to do so, as long as marriage is the expected and joyously anticipated norm in this world.
Immediately after those questions is “How do I figure it all out?”.
Your first questions should always begin with a discussion between you and your fiancé. The moment you begin to discuss your exciting news with everyone else that you love, they will each and every one of them, have an opinion. The more you hear, the more you will become confused. Your idea of what you want will keep shifting with each new suggestion.
After working with couples for nearly ten years, here are some tried and true suggestions to keep you on track.
As soon as you can get away together after you become engaged – take advantage of the opportunity. If it is in the summer, put a message on your phone that you aren’t accepting calls over the weekend, stay home and plan a picnic or a romantic dinner (delivered in or cooked together) and talk often during the weekend about your wedding plans. If it’s in the fall or winter take a ride to a country inn, take long walks and enjoy the foliage or curl up in front of a fire. Ultimately you want to take time to enjoy being engaged, revel in spending some alone time together to talk about the two of you.
Lay down on the bed, on the grass, in a hammock, on a blanket on the sand – wherever you happen to have chosen for your getaway. Close your eyes, and hold hands. Take a few minutes and think about your wedding day, letting yourself just luxuriate in the happiness you are feeling. This is your time together. Treasure it.
Now, open our eyes and stay right there wherever you are, and talk. What did he see when he had his eyes closed, and pondered your wedding day? What did you see when you closed your eyes and imagined your wedding day?
I know it may sound corny or hokey to you, but trust me on this. It will be a revelation to both of you. Make sure you share everything you saw and felt as you imagined your wedding day.
Do not be distressed if you have entirely different pictures of your marriage and celebration. You aren’t getting married tomorrow. This is a planning process.
He may like your idea better, you may like his. You may decide on a combination of both, or as you are talking it through, you may decide that you are only thinking of what you traditionally expected you would do – and that it really isn’t you.
A Destination wedding may be just the answer for your dreams. Your wedding day is a memory that you will always treasure as you create your lifetime of memories. Make it your own.
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