Divorce Confidential: Should I Negotiate or Litigate My Divorce?

Divorce is a huge decision and no one arrives at it lightly. But no matter how much thought and care you put into the decision to end your marriage, few people are truly prepared for the disruptive forces divorce unleashes - financial, emotional, and even physical. A growing number of couples are opting to avoid litigation and attempt a mediated and cooperative divorce, but just because something is trending doesn't mean it's right for everyone. It is, however, a good idea for every couple that is heading towards dissolution to pause and ask themselves: Should it be a courtroom divorce, or a negotiated divorce?

Pros and Cons

Both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages. When the spouses in question are able to work together and cooperate, courtrooms can be jarring experiences that encourage aggression that wasn't previously present. On the other hand, spouses that can't sit for five minutes without erupting into an argument or name-calling probably aren't suited for the cooperative or mediated route.

Styles of Negotiation

It's important to note that there are three basic approaches to a negotiated, non-litigated divorce, which offers some flexibility to couples who may not be entirely friendly but not exactly enemies, either:

• Cooperative Divorces are still handled by attorneys (ideally each spouse has their own) who are directed by their clients to work together to iron out a settlement that both sides can agree to without ever entering a courtroom. These divorces allow spouses to maintain distance and keep separate counsel while still effectively working together.

• Collaborative Divorces are more involved and include financial experts, mental health professionals, and attorneys who all work in concert to make the divorce proceeding as painless and constructive as possible. This approach is ideal for spouses who are still friendly and able to work well in a personal way. This can also be the least destructive to children.

• Mediated Divorces involve a professional mediator but no attorneys. Both spouses meet with the mediator in an attempt to come to a mutually satisfactory agreement. Mediated divorces are good for couples who are not out to defeat' each other but have difficulty coming to agreement on issues and need help.

Staying out of court usually saves both parties money, stress, and time, but there are circumstances when a litigated divorce is the only option. It's best to try a negotiated divorce first and only head into court when that is utterly a failure.

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com