Frazzled Divorced Parents Still Find A Way to Listen Attentively

Feeling overwhelmed happens often in the early days of your divorce. Even though I felt overwhelmed and fearful, I managed not to let them get in the way of my number one priority - providing the nurturing for my daughters. I'm thrilled I had the foresight to make them my most important duty, because when I see them now, I know I was a big part in their success and productivity today and it makes me proud to be their dad.

How do you accomplish this ultra important task? One of the best ways is to listen to your kids with complete attention. Oh, I know, it was hard not to be off in la-la land with the boys playing poker and smoking cigars, but when my girls wanted my attention, they were my number one priority and they got my attention. It was too darn bad if I wanted to step away from parenting and watch the daily news show. I had them; I got a divorce; they were my priority so they got my attention.

It's a proud moment when a soldier gets a medal for some element of bravery or honor, but as a single parent, you should be awarded medals throughout your day. When you selflessly set aside your own desires, and you stop what you'd prefer to be doing to focus your complete attention on your child, it's medal time! My kids were such a precious commodity, that the nurturing they needed (and sometimes it seemed to be a relentless, gaping maw) was a privilege to me to provide. I think that parenting is a sacred trust and should be dignified with your full attention. Stay-at-home parents are the CEOs of their minds and hearts and they nurture the incubators of our fine country. They are the accomplishers of gargantuan tasks.

Well, you might not have the privilege of staying at home. You might have to be out in the work place. That doesn't mean your kids play second fiddle. Your kids come before anything you might want to do. They must come first, or the bruises of your inattention will show in society. When a plant suffers from inattention, it dies. Think about how inattention touches your kids, and resolve today that they will get your complete attention.

My Virtual Assistant told me the story of how she accomplished attention with her sons. They got her complete attention up until the time when they went to bed for the night. After that, her time became only hers and the boys weren't permitted to make any more demands unless they were sick. It took a while for the "Mommy, I want a drink of water" comments to stop because she just told them "I have given you my entire day. This is my time now." It was good for her to set these boundaries.

Your children will blossom as plants do that receive full attention. They are worth all the effort it takes. Once your focus becomes "them," your overwhelm, stress and fear from the divorce will all disappear.

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