Fear in Self And in Healthy Relationships

Copyright (c) 2013 Tom Roberts

Why is it that humans are so afraid to commit themselves to loving each other? People are afraid of the society they live in. They spend more time worrying about what others will think of their relationship until they actually forget about the most crucial behaviour given to humans.

It has often been said that if you love, you might be considered naive. When you are happy, then you are simply not to be taken seriously. If one is generous and care for the welfare of another, they are considered suspects. Forgiving is a sign of weakness. If you trust others, you are likely to be considered a fool. When you take all of the above and add them up to get an opinion, you may be considered a phony.

People need to realize that in order to form a relationship there are so many actions to take into consideration. One needs to know about love, compassion, tenderness, caring, sharing and how to relate to one another. Without these fine features, life is empty though you may be in the best of health. You may have a very comfortable home and your life will still feel empty. Even though many humans know this, they spend very little time trying to correct their behaviour.

Today, you can find many people that are so sophisticated that they can't admit to the confusion and unhappiness that they have let their ego get them into. This can be devastating to a relationship. Learning to share your love with another can be very overwhelming. Humans have such little faith when it comes to the flow of life. There is always that need for permanency or continuity, when the only unchanging quality in life as in love, should be growth and freedom.

Even though so many humans are afraid of a relationship, you still find ill-equipped humans forming friendships; marrying; and raising families with no resources to meet the overwhelming demands they may have to face head on.

It is very strange that even when realising the desperate need for relating, one may continue through much of their life only to engage in a thoughtless idle behavior, which will only relate in one becoming isolated.

There may have been weeks or even months that you may have been happy and full of joy - and then it happens. You began to wonder: Why is it that this relationship is no more? How could this have been overlooked? Was it harder then, or now? These are just a few questions one may ask after a relationship has failed.

Don't be afraid of loving relationships. This is necessary for having a healthy life and one's growth. Most of you have learned from experience, that inability to live in harmony with another is responsible for many of the fears, anxieties and mental illnesses one can experience. Even those of you that hunger for closeness and understanding often find that there is nowhere you can turn for help. Unable to find help, you may continue to engage blindly in a painful, unfulfilling relationship, which will drain all your energy. Often one will find that they lack the strength and knowledge to meet the demands of relating to another human being.

Humans have obviously not learned much from the past. No one has stopped to think that humans are not born with opinions regarding other people - one has to be taught these through time. It is up to the individual to discover new solutions and learn new patterns.

Don't be afraid! Anything that has been learned can be unlearned and relearned. It is only in this process of change that real hope lays. Take time for personal reflection and focus on the relationship you want. Enter into the relationship aware of the advantages and disadvantages. Never get too comfortable in a relationship as failure could be lurking around the corner.

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com