How To Prevent Infidelity And Make Your Relationship Last
Most couples of today have a hard time making their relationship work out. One killer problem is infidelity. It is important for women to have some ideas on how to prevent infidelity from happening.
Why do partners become unfaithful? Among the many reasons is this: "they can't get no satisfaction, and they try," but they fail.
Also, men are biologically programmed both to be promiscuous and committed to a relationship at the same time, so emotionally men may not even define infidelity the same way their wives do. Women ask "Why are men afraid of commitment?" without considering that men's reluctance comes from their taking commitments very seriously.
The following are some tips for you on how to stop infidelity from happening and maintain an intimate relationship:
1. Share and talk things out together -- Both of you came from different family upbringings. You cannot avoid there being some topics about which you cannot come to the same decision. You cannot read each other's minds. If you both just live and assume that each knows how the other feels and thinks, you won't catch problems before they become too large to ignore. Sharing dreams, ambitions, and principles in life is very important, because he is part of you and you are part of him. It is best started before marriage to avoid conflict. People who do not talk and share things find more conflict in married life, which leads to divorce.
Be gentle here. Despite its vital importance, having to communicate can make your man very uncomfortable. Men have problems talking about feelings. He was probably ridiculed while growing up for showing emotions. Sports teach winning and losing, not negotiation. He may fear that a conflict or acknowledged disagreement MUST lead to a break up. You are likely to be the expert at communication, and not being the expert also intimidates him.
Also, be aware that men need precise communication. They mostly live in a world of concrete, physical reality. They are often oblivious to non-verbal communication. Say precisely what you need them to hear. Just be careful it does not sound like an attack. Men defend against attacks.
2. Be open and honest -- Do not hide your negatives and shortcomings while you are dating. Do not be shy. Your partner will love and marry you for what he sees in you during your dating stage. During dating, you tend to hide your negatives, and intimacy develops even if you did not reveal everything about you. You cannot hide it forever. Remember, marriage is supposed to be a life-long relationship, but if entered under false expectations, it probably won't last.
3. Trust -- Mutual trust is important. It has started building during the stages of development of intimacy. You cannot have sex and commitment without trust. Just keep the trust. Trust your partner without any signs of doubt, and expect your partner to do the same in return.
4. Give time to your partner -- Time is more precious than money. Time is authentic: You can pretend to care; you cannot pretend to be there. Make a dating time with just the two of you with no other people, not even your kids. This is also a perfect time to get to know each other even better. Getting to know each other does not end when you get married. Not giving your partner your time is one common reason why men seek someone else.
5. Be flexible and adjust -- Conflicts arise suddenly and unexpectedly. No marriage is perfect. Adjusting to what your partner wants, even if you are not interested in it, makes him feel he is special. Your partner will also have to adjust to you. The flexibility and adjustment should be mutual for a lasting relationship. You each must find out the other's most important needs and make sure they are addressed, if you don't want the other to seek to satisfy them elsewhere.
6. Laugh and play -- Share happy moments as you did while dating. Laugh together about simple things, even if you have responsibilities like children and the work of everyday living. We often fail to look at the beauty around us, because we are too busy working for the future. Too much ambition without appreciating and laughing and playing in your everyday life is not healthy. A man may be swept away by a woman who brings him joy NOW.
7. Repeat the steps of intimacy -- It has been found that couples who reenact the stages of intimacy have more stable relationships. The stages of intimacy start with looking in each other's eyes, and precede through holding hands, embracing, and petting. You must have experienced that sex is more satisfying when you prepare for it by words and looks and small touches. A man typically gets his intimacy needs met through physical intimacy, so he especially benefits from a richer experience, whether he is aware of it or not.
8. Be a good woman -- Men are attracted to strong femininity. A man is in awe of a "good woman" who exhibits feminine grace and strength. He will try hard to be worthy of her.
These tips should help you stop infidelity from happening by creating a relationship so satisfying that neither of you feel the need to look elsewhere.
About the Author
Complicating the issue, males are biologically programmed both to be promiscuous and committed to a relationship at the same time. For more information on forgiving infidelity, visit http://TipsWhatMenWant.com/Infidelity.htm .Learn also about men's supposed commitment phobia at http://tipswhatmenwant.com/Commitment.htm . Thomas Christopher is a Colorado public speaker.
Tell others about
this page:
Comments? Questions? Email Here